Innocence Lost
by anonymousauthor406
Summary: The two had always been best friends, but when one of them tries to move beyond just being friends, everything changes.
1. Chapter 1

Mistoffelees let out a dejected sigh as he curled up on the blankets in his new den. Part of him loved having his own den now that he was grown, but he missed having Tugger with him at night. Nobody could ever understand their friendship, they were hardly ever seen together but when they were there was no mistaking how close they were so when they were old enough to leave the kitten's den they were paired as den mates until they were fully grown. Of course, most den mates only shared blankets but he and Tugger had almost always slept curled up together. Nobody knew since Tugger had no desire to be known as a cuddler (though he was certainly world class at it) and they didn't want any rumors going around so Mistoffelees didn't exactly have anyone to talk to about it. He was doubly afraid of the rumors because, at least for him, they'd be true and he was known to be a terrible liar so out his secret would come.

He couldn't pinpoint an exact point when he had developed feelings for his best friend, it just sort of happened. He didn't even realize it until recently, when they'd finally been told they were old enough to have their own dens. Neither of them had been particularly eager to separate, they'd grown accustomed to each others presence, but they agreed they should have their own spaces so they did eventually find their own dens, though they both took their time in doing so. Mistoffelees had settled on the backseat of an old Mini that had been vacant for years. It wasn't exactly palatial like Tugger's wardrobe, and Tugger himself found himself a bit claustrophobic when he visited, but it was cozy and had enough room for the few baubles Mistoffelees kept. It just didn't feel like home without Tugger though. He knew Tugger needed room for all his escapades with queens, which only made it worse. He'd never come home and caught Tugger on the job when they lived together, but whenever the subject came up he could see that it made Tugger a bit uneasy. Nobody would have ever expected Tugger to be bashful with the way he danced and flirted, but every time the subjects of love and mating came up in their conversations, Tugger would be quick to change the subject. The image of Tugger awkward and bashful as he dodged those conversations brought a small smile to Mistoffelees' face and for a moment he could feel Tugger there with him. A moment later Mistoffelees leaped up as he realized it wasn't just in his imagination that he could feel Tugger's presence. At some point while Mistoffelees had been lost in thought Tugger had sneaked into his den and curled up beside him.

"Tugger?! What- ? How- ? When- ?" The shock of the realization kept him from compiling a coherent sentence.

"Well I was feeling a bit lonely in my den and I thought you might be too so I thought I'd just come on over. I thought you were asleep so I just snuck in and curled up beside you. Figured you wouldn't mind."

"Of course I don't, but some heads up would be nice! And shouldn't you be off with some queen tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well now that you don't have to worry about interruptions I'd imagine you're getting more than your fair share of action."

"Oh, um, well... not really. Can we talk about something else?"

"What is it with you and mating? Everlasting, _I'm_ the shy one! Yet every time it comes up _you_ clam up. You, the hypersexualized heartthrob of the tribe. What's going on Tug?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Come on, you know I won't."

"Well... You know that reputation I have?"

"Who doesn't?"

"What if it were kinda sorta maybe made up a bit?"

"Meaning what exactly?"

"What if it wasn't exactly based on fact and more on rumor?"

"As in you haven't jumped practically every queen?"

"Not exactly."

"Well who have you, then?" Tugger mumbled his response inaudibly. "What was that?"

"No one! I've never actually done the deed."

"Really? Ok I'll play along. What's the big punchline?"

"There isn't one, honest."

"Why are you so uncomfortable talking about it then? There's no shame in being a virgin. I make no attempt to hide it." In the back of his mind, Mistoffelees had begun hoping that Tugger might have some feelings for him too but he dismissed the thought quickly, not wanting to get his hopes up. "Besides you could have you pick of the queens if you wanted to change that."

"I guess you're right," Tugger said, his disappointment clearly written on his face.

"There's more to this isn't there Tug?" Mistoffelees turned his friends face so he could look him in the eye. "Talk to me Tugger. I can't help you if you won't let me, and I want to help you."

"Unless you can use your magic to manipulate someone into falling in love, I'm not sure there's much you can do."

"Name one queen in the yard that wouldn't say yes immediately if you asked her to be your mate."

"That's not the problem."

Mistoffelees heart skipped a beat as he processed what Tugger had said. "Are you saying...?"

"Yeah. Surprise, surprise, the tribe heartthrob bats for the other team."

"So who is it then?" Mistoffelees could barely contain himself. He knew he was in for a world of disappointment if he was wrong, but he didn't care.

"Can we just go to sleep now? I'm pretty exhausted."

That was all the confirmation Mistoffelees needed. Maybe he was wrong and was misreading everything, but in that instant he knew he wasn't. He pulled Tugger in and kissed him. He'd never kissed anyone before and he hoped he wasn't making a mess of it since it may have been the furthest he'd ever get with Tugger. He savored the final moments and parted their lips before opening his eyes. When he did he saw Tugger sitting there, trembling, eyes still shut. Immediately he felt sick to his stomach. He had been wrong. "Tugger?" No response. "Tugger?" Again, nothing. "Tugger! Say something, anything, dammit!" Tugger still remained silent. "Please! I'm begging you, please say something! I-" The words caught in his throat as tears fell from his eyes. "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

Mistoffelees sat there, weeping, waiting for Tugger to finally say something. His stomach was churning and he felt nauseous. He turned away while he tried to steady his stomach, and when he turned back Tugger had gone as quickly and quietly as he came.

"Tugger?!" Mistoffelees cried out in vain. "Tugger come back! I- I love you..." His quiet tears turned to sobs of agony. In one foolhardy move he'd lost everything. Tugger had been his best friend, his confidante. When they'd lived together he'd spent his days just waiting to curl up with him again. He sat there a few minutes more, still letting the tears run freely down his cheeks.

* * *

The moment Mistoffelees turned his back, Tugger leapt at the chance to escape the den. The moment Mistoffelees kissed him, his brain was thrown into a maelstrom of emotions. Mistoffelees loved him? How long had he been hiding that from him? Had he been missing signs all along? Did Mistoffelees think he loved him? Those questions he could set aside, though. There would be time to ponder them later. Now though, all he could think of was Macavity. The scent of his red fur, the gleam in his yellow eyes, the roughness of his tongue, the sharpness of his claws.

He needed to be alone. He needed to clear his head, to think, to process what had just happened. He ran as quickly as he could, feeling his eyes brimming. He couldn't been seen like this. The events of that night flashed through his mind, forever seared into his memory. No one could ever know. No one would ever know. Most secrets eventually came out and saw the light of day, but some secrets were meant to remain hidden in the darkness. And some secrets, some select secrets, some infernal, atrocious, horrible, damnable, secrets were meant to be taken to the grave.

* * *

Eventually Mistoffelees collected himself, and he knew he'd have to go after Tugger. The effort may very well be in vain, but he had to do everything and anything he could to try to make things right between them, whatever that now meant. He stood and tried to pick up Tugger's scent, but it was faint and fading fast. He followed it out of the Mini and in a direction vaguely towards Tugger's den. He hoped his instincts wouldn't fail him for the second time that night and ran towards the wardrobe Tugger had claimed for his den.

When he arrived he wasted no time knocking and barged in frantically, hoping that Tugger would be there. He found the den deserted, the blankets appeared untouched from the night before. _But didn't he say he was here before he came over? Why would he lie about that?_ Mistoffelees' first thought was that he'd been with someone and decided not to stay the whole night with them. _Then why would he say he'd never been with someone? The only possible reason would be to snake his way into my blankets, but he wouldn't have run off if that was his intention. What in the hell is going on with him?_

* * *

Try as he might, Tugger couldn't get the thoughts of Macavity out of his head. Why did it have to be him of all cats? His own brother. How could such a despicable thing even be possible? And who could he possibly turn to now? He felt disgusting, repulsive. He found a discarded mirror and looked at himself. Where once he'd seen a perfect specimen, someone that he himself was jealous of, he now saw a loathsome shell of a tom. To any passerby he looked just the same as he always did, was the same old Rum Tum Tugger he always was. He knew the truth, though. That all he was was a hypersexualized toy. He'd never even realized it before tonight.

Thoughts of Macavity again flooded his mind and he was pulled from his solitary self loathing. All those thoughts were taking their toll - the images wearing away at him like waves against the shore, slowly but surely eating him away. Why now? What made tonight so special? It was just like any other night in early sum- The thought sent a fresh wave of chills through his body. It was early summer. He'd been born in early summer, and unless he was sorely mistaken, today was the day that he officially became a tom.

* * *

Mistoffelees searched the den for anything that would explain Tugger's behavior, but his search was fruitless. Rather surprisingly, since one would expect his den to be impeccable, Mistoffelees' den was a constant state of controlled chaos. Everything might not have a shelf or specific place it belonged on or in, but Mistoffelees always knew where whatever he needed was. Conversely, Tugger's den was always kept in top form - everything in it's proper place, and hardly a speck of dust to be found anywhere, which made searching it a significantly easier task to complete.

He stood there, alone in Tugger's den, trying with everything he had to figure out where Tugger could have gone. The reasonable place to go would be to his brother or his father. Then again, Tugger wasn't the type to go crying to his father when he had troubles, nor would he go to Munkustrap since Munk would invariably intervene in some way and being a snitch wouldn't help his image in any way. The only thing Mistoffelees could come up with was himself. He was where Tugger would come in times of trouble. He was the one that would listen when Tugger needed to vent. He fought back another bought of tears, knowing that he couldn't waste more time crying. Tugger needed him now, and he needed Tugger.

* * *

As he made his way through the junkyard, Tugger saw a small patch of purple flowers and walked over to them. Their purple buds had a distinctive bell shape, and their tiny black berries glistened invitingly in the somber light of the sallow moon.


	3. Chapter 3

He paused a moment as he studied the berries, the choice weighing heavy on his mind. In the end though it was an easy one to make. He grabbed as many as he could carry and proceeded on. The only question now was where would be the best place to enjoy them. Part of him wanted to go to one of his usual haunts in one of the main clearings, but he decided against it. Wouldn't want the kittens to find him. He thought about leaving the junkyard entirely before partaking in them, but the junkyard was the only home he'd ever known and he wanted to at least remain in his home.

After a bit more deliberation he remembered a place he and Mistoffelees had gone to when they were younger. Back in amongst the tires there was a certain pile that if one could ascend to the top of, provided a view of the whole junkyard. It was a place they'd gone many a time when they just needed to talk and be alone together. He'd always wanted to take Mistoffelees there and tell him the truth. About Everything. But every time he'd considered it, he'd backed out at the last moment. What would Mistoffelees think? What if he couldn't stay friends with him if he knew the truth? Their friendship meant too much to him, so he kept his secret hid. Now though, he almost wished he had told him. Wasn't like it would make much difference now. At least he'd know the truth.

As he walked he couldn't help but quietly hum Mistoffelees' song. He always enjoyed singing his own, but it was Mistoffelees' song that had always brought him joy. As he began to ascend the mountain of tires before him he thought back on all the times they'd scaled it together. All the things they'd said there, all the secrets they'd shared. He kept humming as he climbed, finishing the final bars as he reached the summit. He sat himself down tenderly and took in the view. It all looked so peaceful, so serene in the pallid moonlight. He couldn't help but notice the stars seemed to have fled from the sky, taking their shimmering light with them and leaving naught but that callous moon hanging in the heavens above.

A cool breeze swept over him, sending shivers down his spine. On any other night he would have thought it refreshing, but tonight it was a frigid Arctic blast, whipping through his fur and chilling him to the bone. He tried to fill his mind with thoughts of the happy times; dancing for the kits, taunting Munkustrap, laughing with Mistoffelees, but to no avail. His mind was again flooded with thoughts of that night. Of the scent of Macavity's fur, the warmth of his tongue, the heat of his body on his. The scent may have faded from Tugger's fur, but he could still smell its stench clinging to him, filling his nostrils. Macavity's tongue may have vacated Tugger's mouth but he could still taste it. The sounds of his pleasure still rung in Tugger's ear, echoing like tolling church bells. How could he have done that to his own brother? What possessed him to? How could he live with himself? How could Macavity?

If the feeble thoughts of happier days had made him unsure, the vivid images of his brother had again steeled his resolve. He was tempted to swallow all the berries at once, but he figured he might as well take his time with them. Not like he needed to be anywhere. He put the first of the berries in his mouth and bit down. The taste was sweeter than he'd expected. At least he'd be able to enjoy a somewhat tasty snack. He paused again after the second. Was he entirely sure of this? Was there another way? No. There wasn't. Besides, what was there worth hanging around for? Friends? What friends did he really have? All people wanted from him was for him to sing and dance and look dashing for them. Nobody actually gave a fuck about the rest. He was just a plaything, a _curiosity_ to them; good for light entertainment, nothing more. Family? What family? The mother that abandoned him and his brothers when they were kittens, and only bothered to come back so she could to to Heavyside? The father that was never there? The brother that was either chastising him for something or too busy to pay him any attention? Or... His stomach churned at the thought of Macavity and he had a renewed feeling of disgust. His skin felt foreign, his fur felt soiled. The body he was once so proud to show off repulsed him, revolted him. He heard Macavity's cursed voice _again_ , smelt his musky fur _again_ , tasted his vile tongue _again_ , felt his hellish warmth _again_ , saw his burning eyes _again_. He head was pounding - it felt like his brain would burst free in a shower of bone and gore. No. This was not a life worth living, not worth saving. He was repulsive. Revolting.

As he ate the third of the berries he thought again of Mistoffelees. Mistoffelees, the only one in the junkyard who'd ever known him to be more than just a plaything. Mistoffelees, the only one that had shared his bed. Mistoffelees, the only one he'd ever trusted. Part of him wished the tux were there so he could say goodbye, but that final reprise would have to suffice. The rest of him was an inferno a hatred towards the damnable creature. All this time, all these years, and not a single fucking word until tonight. He hardly even had the decency for words tonight. His just had his way with him then said he loved him, as if that was some kind of excuse. If he loved him where was he know? If he loved him why hadn't he just grown a pair and said it long ago? To hell with all this patience. To hell with all of it. He threw the remaining berries, save but one, into his mouth and swallowed them. Wouldn't be long now. Maybe he'd see his abominable brother and that damnable tux in hell some day. He'd keep the kettle on.


	4. Chapter 4

His mind was a blur. He had to find Tugger. He needed to make things right. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. But where the hell could Tugger have gone? Why had he lied? What in the ever loving hell was going on with him? Mistoffelees knew he was running out of time. Nobody had never seen Tugger like this and he knew it was a matter of time before Tugger did something rash. The most important thing now was finding Tugger. He frantically searched his memory for any special places Tugger might have gone. Despite all his curiosities, Tugger had always been a creature of habit. He slept the same hours each day, ate at the same times, frequented the same places. To everyone else his actions seemed whimsical, but Mistoffelees knew better. There was always a pattern, a logical sequence, to be found, if you cared to look for it.

He thought back on on the moments they'd shared together. All the laughter and joy Tugger had brought him through the years. In one reckless move he'd ruined it all. He could see Tugger dancing there in the clearing, all the other kits cheering him on, queens and toms alike falling at his feet. He could hear his voice ringing out, ensnaring every ear it fell upon, drawing them all in like sailors to a siren. He'd always fought the urge to get drawn into Tugger's antics. It made Tugger try all that much harder to pull him in, and he loved being the only one that Tugger ever pursued. Deep down he knew that he'd always hoped that somehow it would make him more desirable to Tugger. That the challenge would only serve to fuel Tugger's desire for him.

As he reminisced an image began to take form in his mind. There had been a place they went when they were younger, where they'd go when they wanted to be alone. Where they'd go to share secrets or contemplate life. It was the kind of place that carried with it a magnificent stillness; from it one could survey the entire junkyard as if they were the Everlasting looking down on the world below. If Tugger needed a place to be alone that's where he would go; Mistoffelees was sure of it.

Mistoffelees ran out of the den, towards the piles of tires across the junkyard. It may be the kind of place for solitary reflection, but it was also the kind of place that one would go if they wanted to... His stomach churned at the thought. Past of him wanted to believe Tugger was too vain to do such a thing, but all things considered, he could believe Tugger capable of anything, that night especially. He ran even faster, hoping he wouldn't be too late to stop whatever Tugger had planned. He froze in his tracks, though, when a small flower caught his eye, a flower he and all in the junkyard knew well. From birth they were warned to stay away from flowers with a purple bell shaped bloom, a flower commonly known as nightshade. A single berry could leave one sick for a week, and two could kill. He looked on in terror as he saw it had been stripped of all its berries.

He ran faster than he'd ever run in his life; his vision blurred by tears. Whatever had happened to Tugger that night had pushed him to the point of taking his own life, and he'd been a part of it. All he'd wanted was to tell Tugger he loved him and for Tugger to say he felt the same. He cursed himself for being so naive, for thinking his fantasy would become reality.

Moments later he could see the mound of tires towering above the horizon and in the distance he could just barely make out a silhouette about to complete its ascent to the summit. He kept his pace, knowing he wouldn't have much time if Tugger decided to down the berries the moment he reached the top. When he reached the base of the pile he immediately began his own ascent. The junkyard was silent as a tomb and he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears as he climbed. As he continued, he felt a cold gust rush over him, cutting through his fur and chilling him to the bone.

He paused just before he reached the top and prepared himself for whatever he found up there. He prayed he'd be in time to stop Tugger from eating the berries, and feared he was too late and would be greeted by Tugger's lifeless corpse. Every muscle in his body was on fire, tortured by the exertion of his sprint from Tugger's den and his rapid ascent of the mound of tires, but he summoned the last of his strength to pull himself up onto the summit of the mound, arriving just in time to see Tugger throw an entire fistful of the berries into his mouth.

"Tugger, no!"

The maned cat spun himself around, eyes burning with contempt. "So, guess I was worth a trip after all," he growled.

"Tugger what in Everlasting's name is going on? We need to get you to Jenny now!"

"Bit late for that Misto, old pal - I tasted a couple before making a meal of them. Shouldn't be long now."

Mistoffelees fell to his knees beside Tugger. "But why Tugger? Why?"

"Oh so you care now don't you?"

"Tugger I've always cared! I've always loved you." Tears fell from his eyes as he spoke.

"Nice of you to tell me. I must say you did a phenomenal job hiding it all these years. All the time I spent looking for a sign and not once did I catch you slipping."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're supposed to be the smart one. Figure it out. Don't take too long though. Pretty sure you'll have a few more things to say after you do and who knows how much longer I'll be lucid enough to respond."

"Are you saying all this time you loved me too?"

"Yes."

"Then why all this madness? Why did you run away? Why did you lie about where you were tonight?"

"Well I guess there's no point in secrecy any more. Besides, at least someone will be able to tell the others why."

"I still don't know why! Tugger stop this madness!"

"You want to know why? Ask Macavity. Ask my brother why he abducted me tonight. Ask him why he bound my arms and legs to his bed. Ask him why he had his way with me."


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N:_** _If you thought this story was dark before, you're in for a treat now. I've had to increase the rating because of this chapter, and the final two that will be following it. Tugger will describe what happened to him (though not it TOO much detail) so be wary of that._

* * *

The peaceful silence of the night now felt heavy, like it was pressing down on them, crushing them. Mistoffelees was still struggling to process what he'd just heard. Certainly it explained everything, and part of him was relieved it wasn't him that had caused this insanity, but now there was nothing he could do. Tugger was going to die, and he couldn't do anything to change that.

"Not what you were expecting to hear, was it Misto?"

"Tugger please- "

"Save it, I don't have that much fucking time left. I was going to tell you tonight. I was going to admit everything. I was on my way to tell you when he attacked me. I don't know where he was hiding, but he pounced and shoved this rag in my face and the next thing I knew I was in his den, arms and legs bound in place."

"How did-"

"No idea. You remember when we were kits and we snuck off to go smell that stuff Jenny warned us about? Well that's what that rag was covered in. It was so strong it floored me instantly." Tugger had to pause, and Mistoffelees could see his breath was weakening and that he was sweating despite the cold. "He kissed me. Told me not to fight him. He ran his paws all over my body, feeling me, groping me. He climbed on top of me and started rubbing against me. He told me to relax and enjoy it. He stayed there a while, rubbing against me, touching me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. When he grew tired of that he forced himself on me. He just kept going, violating me over and over again. Then after he was done he said it was my turn and took me into his mouth and - I think you get the idea."

"Everlasting Tugger..." Mistoffelees stomach was churning, he felt like he'd be sick just from hearing what Macavity had done.

"He told me he'd be seeing me again soon, that I was his plaything. Then he just untied me and acted like nothing happened. He said I might want to groom myself before I left. That's when I went to your den. I needed you. I needed to feel you curled up beside me."

"Why didn't you tell me Tugger? Why did you try to hide it?" Tugger was sweating profusely now, his eyes dilated.

"You know what something like this does to you? What it feels like? I'll tell you. It destroys you. It eats you alive from inside, until there's nothing left but a lifeless shell. It makes you feel filthy, soiled, disgusting, revolting. I just wanted to put it behind me, to try and forget about it. I couldn't tell you because I felt so disgusting, and I thought you'd think the same."

"Tugger, I love you. I love you no matter what happened then or what happens in the future."

"You mean the next five minutes?" Even as he was dying he was being a wise-ass.

"Stop talking like that Tug! We'll find some way out of this! We'll -"

"Don't waste your breath. Curtain's falling, whether you like it or not."

"Please Tugger... no..." He'd tried to remain calm, to be a voice of reason and stop Tugger's madness, but he couldn't any more. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and he pulled Tugger close to him. He could see it wouldn't be long now. Tugger put a paw on his neck, pulled him down, and kissed him. They stayed there, together until Mistoffelees felt Tugger's grip tighten as his body tensed and went limp. "Tugger? Tugger?!" His cries went unheard as Tugger slipped away, still in his arms.

He stayed there, holding Tugger in his arms, knowing he'd never again hear the sound of his laughter, the teasing of his voice, or the melody of his singing. He'd never again sleep in the safety of his arms or feel the warmth of his lips on his. They'd never again lay side by side, talking into the small of the morning. They'd never hunt together again. Never dance together again. His best friend, the tom he loved, was gone. He buried his face in Tugger's mane and wept, knowing it was the last time he'd ever do so.

He and Tugger had been robbed of so much. If Macavity hadn't intervened they would have been together by now. They could have had a life together. They would have been mates. The would have danced the mating dance at the ball. Tugger would have sung his song again. They would have danced together, hunted together, laughed together, grown old together. But all that had been stolen from them. Their life had been stolen. Tugger's life had been stolen. Everything had been stolen by Macavity that night.

Mistoffelees lifted his head off Tugger's lifeless chest. As much as he wanted to stay there with him in his arms, there was something that needed to be done. He untied Tugger's signature bandana from his left leg, and held it tight in his paw. Macavity had taken everything from him that night. Every hope, every dream, shattered. His best friend lay dead before him. As Everlasting was his witness, he would ensure that Macavity paid for his crimes.

"I swear to you Tug, Macavity will pay for what he did to you, to us. For what he stole from us. I swear to you Tugger, your brother will not see the sunrise."


	6. Chapter 6

He pulled Tugger to his chest one last time, savoring the familiar scent and the last traces of warmth from his body before laying his body down and folding his arms over his chest. The sight of Tugger's face peaceful in the pale moonlight gave Mistoffelees the small comfort that wherever Tugger had gone, he was beyond suffering. Beyond the cares of the world. Beyond the pain his brother had caused him. Now all that remained was to make Macavity pay for his sins.

It wasn't exactly a well guarded secret that Macavity had never actually left the junkyard when he was banished. Rumor had it that he kept his den somewhere amongst the rows of decrepit old cars across the yard from where the other jellicles lived. That was all Mistoffelees needed. His magic may not have been powerful enough to raise Tugger from the dead, but it was strong enough to reach out and sense other magical beings when they were near. When he drew near to the den, he'd know.

He began the long walk across the junkyard, mind and pulse racing in anticipation of what he was planning. How would he do it? Would he be quick and get it over with? Oh no. Macavity had to suffer. He had to know his end was coming and that there was nothing he could to about it. He had to know that he was finally being punished for his sins, that the hour of judgement was upon him and that there would be no trial. There would be no deliberation by judge and jury. There would be no appeals, no petitions. There would only be him and Mistoffelees. Prisoner and executioner.

He knew he stood no chance against Macavity in any form of combat, fighting him without an advantage would be suicide. He looked down at Tugger's bandana, still held tightly in his paw and a thought occurred to him. He made a slight detour from his route, and sought out the section of the yard where chemicals were disposed of. Once there he found the one Tugger had described. When they were younger they'd been warned that even though smelling it might make you feel good for a few minutes, if you smelled to much you could pass out or even die. He doused the bandana in the rancid liquid and continued towards the rusted out shells of the cars.

As he drew nearer he began to sense Macavity's presence, the strength of his aura growing with every step as Mistoffelees drew nearer to him. In the darkness he could make out the form of the machine the humans used to crush cars, the controls glowing a faint red and green. He was close now. He could feel Macavity's aura radiating out. At first it was like the heat of a match, nothing but a glimmer. As he drew nearer it was like a bonfire, bathing the surrounding area in its loathsome heat. His senses led him to a rotted out van, and as he approached he could feel the vile cat's aura blazing like an inferno.

His pulse was racing as he slipped into the van, and he fought to keep himself from lashing out at the slumbering tom and killing him in his bed as he slept. Instead he brought the bandana up to Macavity's face and smothered him with it. The red tom's eyes flew open, the burning yellow orbs searing a hole into Mistoffelees' very being as they fell upon him. He struggled for a moment before the chemical took hold of him, and Mistoffelees felt his aura diminishing as he faded into unconsciousness. Magic had a funny way of working. It was there when one slept, but when the mind couldn't focus it would fade away. Careful not to kill Macavity with the chemicals, Mistoffelees removed the rag. Now what would be a suitable punishment for him? He saw two bundles of rope on the floor and picked them up. They still smelled of Tugger. He bound Macavity's paws and feet with the rope and dragged him out of the den.

Macavity was much larger than him, but the hate fueled adrenaline rushing through Mistoffelees' veins gave him the strength he needed to drag Macavity over to the crusher, and pull him up onto the platform beneath the press. He unsheathed his claws and dug them into Macavity's chest and raked them down, leaving deep gashes that quickly began pouring out blood. The red tom awoke from his unconsciousness with a blood-curdling scream of agony as Mistoffelees continued down his torso. He'd thought the screams would torment him and give him pause, but they brought him a sadistic pleasure as he tore into Macavity's flesh.

He lifted his blood soaked paws from Macavity's body once he'd made it all the way to his abdomen. "Glad to see you're awake Macavity. Didn't want you to miss out on any of the fun we're going to have tonight."

Macavity's head shot up and his eyes were wide with shock when he realized the identity of his captor. "Mistoffelees!? Mistoffelees you fatuous child do you have any idea what you're doing? Who you're crossing?"

"I'm not terribly worried about it Mac," he replied cavalierly. "You see, I swore to someone very dear to me that you'd not see the sunrise, and I'm a tom of my word. Since you will _not_ be seeing the sunrise, you won't be a threat to me, or anyone else for that matter, much longer." When he'd finished speaking he lifted his foot and pressed it down on the still weeping gashes on Macavity's chest, drawing another scream from the red tom. "Now as I'm sure you've noticed, your magic isn't working too well. I doused you with the same chemical you used to knock out Tugger earlier today, and when you combine that with the level of pain I sincerely hope you're currently experiencing, your mind is far to clouded to be able to give magic the proper amount of focus. So again, I'm not terribly worried about you posing a threat to me."

"Tugger? This is about-" Mistoffelees silenced him by pressing his now bloodied foot on his throat.

"Did I say you could speak? But if you must know, yes this is about what you did to Tugger. Obviously we both know what it was you did to him, so we won't have to review that. What you didn't know is that I happen to have been in love with him, and that before he died in my arms tonight, he told me he loved me too." Mistoffelees removed his foot, not wanting to Macavity to suffocate and end the fun early.

"Tugger? Love you? H-" Mistoffelees brought his foot crashing down into Macavity's mouth, shattering his teeth and sending them flying like shards of glass.

"What did I say about you not talking Macavity? Shouldn't be a problem now though. Only question left is how much longer I want to keep this going." He knelt down beside Macavity, put his paws in one of the gashes and began pulling the wound open. Macavity's attempt at a scream was muffled by the blood flowing from where his teeth once were, and came out as nothing more than a loud gurgle. "I must say I do see how you were able to get off on this kind of thing. It is rather fun, having someone at your disposal, to do with as you please. I hope I'm doing alright, you are my first after all," he said lasciviously, caressing Macavity's cheek. "They say you never forget your first, no matter how many come after. They're probably right. I'm certainly enjoying this, and I don't think I'll ever forget it." He bent down and kissed Macavity's forehead. "Now though, I think it's time to say goodnight and goodbye. At the rate you're losing blood you don't have much time left and we've not even made it to the grand finale! Don't worry though. I'll make sure to give you a fitting send-off." He stood and climbed up to the controls. Luckily the humans weren't exactly the most intelligent species and always used green for "go" and red for "stop," making operation of the crusher very simple. "Go to hell Macavity!" He cried out before mashing both paws into the green button.

He leapt down from the controls and stood in front of the roaring machine as the massive plate made it's way down. Macavity turned his head to stare at Mistoffelees, eyes burning with fury. Mistoffelees gave him a wink and brought a paw to his mouth and blew him a kiss as the plate continued to descend. He watched as the plate began slowly pressing down on Macavity, until his body exploded in a shower of gore, spraying the already blood-soaked Mistoffelees with Macavity's innards. When the plate ascended back to it's original position, Mistoffelees saw nothing left of the red tom but a lake of blood and gore.

He spat in the direction of Macavity's remains and began the long walk back to his den.


	7. Chapter 7

Before returning to his den after killing Macavity, Mistoffelees had gone to Munkustrap to give him the news so he could prepare a proper send-off for his brothers. He'd walked into the den, still dripping Macavity's blood from his fur. Munkustrap couldn't comprehend the news at first, and was so taken aback by it he didn't even notice the state of Mistoffelees fur until he buried his face in it as he wept for his brothers. When asked, Mistoffelees recounted the full story to Munkustrap, and they agreed that it would be best for everyone if Deuteronomy was the only other to know the truth of what had happened. They agreed to tell the tribe that Macavity had placed a spell on Tugger for some unknown reason and that Mistoffelees hadn't been able to break it in time, so he avenged Tugger. It wasn't entirely untrue, and it spared the tribe from knowing the truth of what had happened to their idol.

Mistoffelees did not however, give all the details of Macavity's death to Munkustrap. No matter how justified he felt in his actions, he knew that he'd crossed a line in torturing Macavity before killing him. Now that it was over he didn't even know how he felt about it. He wasn't burdened by his actions in the slightest. Nobody would argue that Macavity didn't deserve what he'd done to him. But what scared him and weighed on his conscience was how much he'd enjoyed doing it. Throughout the whole experience he'd been deriving a sadistic pleasure in torturing Macavity. He hoped he'd only enjoyed it because he was giving Macavity what he deserved, but part of him knew that even if that were the case there would still be at least a little piece of him that derived pleasure from torture.

The following days saw the junkyard in chaos. The only eyes that were dry were those that had, for the moment, run out of tears. When the Jellicle Choice was made each year, it was a joyous occasion. The selected jellicle would ascend to Heavyside and begin a new life, one free from whatever suffering they knew in this one. But when one of the jellicles died without being chosen it was a melancholy affair. More often than not the jellicle died without having lived their full life. Their body would be placed in the main clearing and adorned with flowers and the tribe would gather to pay tribute and celebrate the life of the lost jellicle. The ceremony would be concluded by the singing of their song, or a newly written one if they didn't have one, by a loved one. After the song concluded the body would hidden in the junkyard's furnace and cremated by the humans the following day.

Mistoffelees was chosen to sing the final rendition of Tugger's song, the song that breathed new life into the junkyard each time it was sung and never failed to bring joy to those who heard it. The final chorus though brought no joy to anyone. Mistoffelees had intended to perform the song in such a way that it would seem like Tugger was there with them so that they might find solace and maybe even a moment of happiness in Tugger's presence one last time, but it was to no avail. The wound that Tugger's death had left was too deep, too fresh, to begin to heal. By the end of the song there wasn't a single jellicle not weeping, and it was all Mistoffelees could do to keep his composure long enough to finish the song.

When it came time for Tugger's body to be taken away, Deuteronomy allowed Mistoffelees a few minutes to say a final goodbye. He knelt beside his friend and took his paw in his. He thought back on all the time they'd shared together, of the things they'd never do. He remembered the day they'd moved into their first den, how excited they'd been to be free from the kitten's den, to be out on their own. He remembered how Tugger had held him close that night, and so many nights after. He remembered the day he first opened his eyes, and saw Tugger there, looking down at him. He wasn't much older than Mistoffelees, only about a week or so, but he was the first thing he ever saw.

He felt a heavy paw on his shoulder and looked up to see Deuteronomy standing over him. It was time. He ran his paw down Tugger's cheek in a final farewell before Deuteronomy and Munkustrap prepared to take him away. Traditionally it was only family that went with the deceased so they could say a final goodbye, but as they were about to depart Munkustrap turned back.

"Mistoffelees? Do you want to join us? You knew him better than anyone, and have more right to call him family than either of us."

He considered it for a moment, but decided it was best not to. "Thank you Munkustrap, but I'll stay here. I don't think I can handle any more of these goodbyes." Munkustrap nodded to him, and he departed with his father to send Tugger on his final journey.

After they'd left Mistoffelees felt empty. Somehow he'd managed to keep himself alive over the past days so he could be strong enough to pay tribute to Tugger at his funeral, but now any desire to carry on he had had had left him. He wished the ground beneath him would crumble and he'd be swallowed by the void below. He wished he could hear Tugger's voice again, watch him dance again, feel his arms around him again. He couldn't even cry anymore. He'd spent the past days crying and he simply didn't have any tears left. He looked around the clearing and everything reminded him of Tugger. The pipe he'd sit on as he watched Tugger dance. The car they'd take naps on. The old ball Tugger would always kick his way.

He left the clearing but he still couldn't shake the feeling. He looked down the path to the den they'd shared. Part of him wanted to go see if anyone had claimed it since they'd left, but he kept walking. He could see the wardrobe Tugger had made his den sticking out over the pile of junk it rested on. He looked up and saw the faintest outline of the mountain of tires where Tugger had breathed his last. He didn't quite know why his legs were carrying him towards it, but he made no change to his course. He reached the bottom and once again ascended the mountain. He sat himself down at the summit, legs dangling over the long drop to the bottom.

He sat there a while, hoping to find some morsel of comfort, some last trace of Tugger. He'd been wearing Tugger's bandana around his arm since that night; it was the only thing he had left of him. He untied it and held it up to his face and caught the faintest whiff of Tugger's scent. Memories of that night flooded his mind, causing his head to spin. Images of Tugger's and Macavity's end overwhelmed him. He could still Tugger's body tensing up as he died, he could still hear Macavity's screams of agony. The memories haunted him, taunted him, tormented him. He stood and backed away from the edge as he grew dizzy and the world around him began to spin. He gripped the bandana tighter and tighter as he fought to force the memories out of his mind. He couldn't take it anymore. There was nothing left for him in the junkyard. No matter how he justified it he was a murderer. His best friend, the tom he loved, was dead. As quickly as they'd come the memories receded and Mistoffelees felt a peaceful stillness. He took a step towards the edge. And another. He stood there, looking down at the fall to the ground below. He gripped the bandana tight in his paw.

"I'll see you soon Tug."

Mistoffelees closed his eyes and stepped over the edge.

Fin

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 ** _A/N:_** _And there you have it folks! My first complete multi-chapter fic. Really hope you enjoyed this one. I never intended to go past chapter 1, but I had a few people ask what was next and I didn't have the heart to tell them there was nothing, now here we are. Thanks to everyone who followed and reviewed along the way!_


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